I have to admit…these last two days served a moment of deep reflection about where my life is heading. I’ve also reflected about the ghosts of the past – i.e. past memories, people, thoughts and places that I’ve found myself revisiting in some way or another, whether literally or metaphorically. It has made me realise how this one simple word – past – is the ultimate Pandora’s box of ‘what if’s,’ regrets and nostalgia.
How many times do you personally look back at your past, and wonder what could have happened if you had pursued that relationship, chosen that career path, moved to that place, did not do those things…
On the other hand, what if you try to pursue those past ‘what if’s’ now, in the present moment? Would you find that you’re still compatible with the one that got away? Would you find that the career path that you had dreamed of in your youth is still valid and compatible with your present self? Would Paris still fulfil the person you are now?
These are the ghosts of our past…ghosts that are still haunting us as life forces us to seamlessly move from one day to another, and years and experiences mould us and change us in unimaginable ways. How can we liberate ourselves from the ghosts that float in our shadow, reminding us of what could have happened differently, when we fleetingly glimpse at our changing and hardened faces in shop windows, each and every day?
Alas! I wish I had the answer to that one!
Janelle Borg 