Dear broodingly soulful young men,
I am applying for the role of ‘manic pixie dream girl’, which I saw advertised online. I believe I’m the perfect fit for this highly coveted role!
First off, I certainly do fit the image of the woman of your dreams. I change my hair colour every other Tuesday, I love berets, dungarees and Doc Martens shoes, I buy all my clothes from charity shops, I’m a proficient ukulele player, I’m a sucker for indie flicks, I’ve got a weird, exotic accent and I’m a proud vegan. Furthermore, I also work at a cafe, but I secretly want to be a writer. I’m spontaneous and curious, and I tend to move around quite often. Often times, I find myself hopping on a plane to the other side of the world on a whim.
I can guarantee that I’ll do my very best to turn your dreams into reality, and to be as professionally nutty, quirky, impulsive and shallow as possible. I’ll hide my own dreams and ambitions, supporting yours instead. I’ll adapt to any role. I can be the touring musician who you occasionally sext with online. I can be the Tinkerbell to your Peter Pan. I can be the squealing fan who supports your talents. I’ll shower your life with sparkles, disappearing when you’ve discovered the joys of life.
Attached you can find my CV. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl
P.S. You can also send me a postcard…’cos why not? I just love the quaint concept of a postcard!